What makes mcky1224?

The Fifth day without Him

2012-01-26T16:18:00.002+08:00

The fifth day without him? Hmm, can't feel anything. Too busy to make myself happy though the day did not go as perfect as planned but I am still glad that I managed to meet up my besties! ♥

My Forth Day without Him

2012-01-25T00:56:00.005+08:00

What a tiring yet contented day! Hung up with my brother, sister and cousin in the city from Time Square to Lot 10 to Sungai Wang to Pavilion! Everyone included aunt did not expect me to go out and spend my time hanging around. Why? Because, all these years, I have been spending most my CNY hiding in the room struggling.

Well, how was it like to live my forth day without him? Well, I keep telling myself, I am okay to live without him. And yes, I did it. For those who think I can't live without him, I DID IT! But the fact is, if my heart don't even bother about his existence, I won't even started a post a day before I sleep with the title of "My xx Days without Him". Perhaps, I do miss him dearly from the bottom of my heart just that it is just too painful to endure the pain again and again. Numbness is all I can feel. Every time I have recovered from my heartache, there will be another one coming, very soon. How many more times do I have to stand? I am not the same as anyone out there, I do not like doing things on my own yet underground. Do not analyse logically as theory and practical work not exactly the same. Many things can be done to make things better but instead of better choices, things happen the other way round. Enough.. It's enough.. I think I have had enough. I should not facing this alone.

Please, do not judge my feelings if you failed to experience whatever I am undergoing. He belongs to there, not here.

My Third Day without Him

2012-01-23T23:24:00.010+08:00

How was my third day, also the first day of CNY, without him would be like? No tear, no sadness, no hard feelings, nothing. He would be enjoying himself there without even really care how my day would be like. Well, maybe not even thinking at all.

Woke up early in the morning and got ready myself to visit my first Aunt in Batu Arang. It's

our routine to be there every first day of CNY. This is the only day I can meet many of my relatives that I hard to meet. This year, however, there were more members dropping by. Happy to see them. The most unexpected person to see was my cousin sister, Wendy. I haven't been talking to her for a long time even though we met sometimes for some family occasion. She brought over her second baby, Brayden. I didn't got a chance to play with him as he was such a spotlight and everyone was busy carrying and tickling him. I had a nice chat with my couzie, Connie, though. It's really hard for us to have such nice chat.

Later on, we went to visit the welfare home we used to visit yearly. This time, auntie and cousins joined us as well. It's nice to have so many of us to help up the people in need. Feeling good. ^^

To my surprise, Wendy was already at father's house when I reached there. And yes, the 8 months old baby Brayden was there!!! Ahah, I can play with him as much as I want now~ No one would fight with me to play with him ^^. He is such an adorable boy! He can get along well with anybody and he always wears his cute smile on his face. What a little baby pistachio!! The good time taking care of him somehow triggered me to proceed with my plan. ^^

Happy with the day!!!

p/s: I think I have put on weight already...

The Second Day without Him

2012-01-22T21:59:00.003+08:00

Again, I survived another day without him by my side. Slowly, I'm getting used of it. Good or bad? Hard to say. Good in the sense of I at least can live on my own independently~ And it also implies that I can have my dream come true on my own without relying on any party^^ Bad in the sense of, the exclusion all these while has slowly draw me apart from committing so much into a relationship. Perhaps, it is really true that no one really appreciate. Might as well I make my name recognised? Maybe it is a better choice for now.

Entering the third day, but no problem for me. Last night was a different night compared to any other nights I have ever had. Someone I truly used to be so close to dropped by around 9pm and we stayed awake up till 5am in the morning and we had merely 4 hours of sleep before we hung up in a mall. Not a bad day, managed to get myself a dress. Initially, I didn't want to get anything new for this new year. No new clothes, no new shoes, no new hair style, no new look and basically, nothing new with the reason that I want to retain whatever good things I have in the past year. My everyday is to be appreciated, I do not want to change for what I really have faith in doing. Why change? However, as to reward my achievement in not tear dropping this time, I feel it is indeed a good accomplishment, I credited myself a new dress! At this very moment, all I believe is that the moment I believe in Him, I am rescued; the moment I let go the bond, I am comforted.

Tomorrow is going to be another great day! No doubt about it! If other can do this, why can't I? Going to have great time gather with my relatives and the feelings is way better than the feelings of forsaken and abandoned. Four years of suffering CNY I have had and this time, I am going to enjoy myself to the fullest! I deserve to be a happier person, I told myself.

The First Day without Him

2012-01-21T19:36:00.004+08:00

Wow, Chinese New Year is getting nearer and nearer! Sadly, we do not have a chance to experience the moment we do some New Year shopping together. Starting by me rushing for my assignments, then two weeks of exam followed by he was away last week... I still could not feel how is the feelings of celebrating Chinese New Year together with him. And it is already the fifth CNY.

Excluded those days when we studied in University, this is the longest period we stay apart. We will have to stay apart for 6 continuous days! Wow, that's really long isn't it? But no problem, I can get through it. I got through the first day, so do the other five days.

How my first day without him would be like?? Not as bad as I thought although I do have some ill feelings on and off. But still I made it through the day!

Without me even noticing, the sun has already set. Thank God that I at least have my student to occupy my time so I don't feel the slow motion of the time tickling. My day so far can be considered fulfilling as I have been working, working and working.

It's only 8pm plus, another few hours before I hit my bed.. What would be the next thing I do? I wonder~

Spineless Jelly

Happy Chinese New Year?

2012-01-19T17:29:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year 2012

Finally, Chinese New Year 2012 is just around the corner... To be precise, it is just three days away!

While everyone is looking forward for the arrival of this special festive, I am looking forward for it to past as quickly as possible... Never in my life I appreciate Chinese New Year as any one in the world appreciating... Neither do I enjoy this festive like anyone else enjoying.

Chinese New Year always a torturing festive for me where I could not have the peace and quiet soul I used to enjoy. My emotions will go wild and disturbed, my days and nights will be hay wired. Most ironically, I will be secluded and forsaken in a place that not to be seen, not to be heard and not to be feel. This is a festive that I used to doubt on my existence. A festive that I used to hide my inner feelings the most. A festive with lots of lies to be told. A festive that I am not me with the fake mask, fake smile, fake expression...

Well, life is as such. Nothing is as perfect as one wants it. Who am I to blame? Who am I to ask for more? Who am I to voice my sorrows? Why so many who am I? Because, I am no one in this world but someone to Him.

I am here to give thank to my dearest Abba Father, who is the one and only one who survived me all these forsaken and unrecognised days! I do not need to be afraid since the day he brought me to this world for a reason.

I LOVE YOU THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.

2012-01-18T10:40:00.005+08:00

Looking back my posts, I was shocked that I haven't been blogging for the entire year 2011! Times really fly huh! In a blink of eyes, I have already completed with the course work of my Masters Degree programme, which indirectly telling me that, I am getting another year older... Sigh... Thinking back, coursework ain't that tough if I were to campare it to the forthcoming dissertation... It's gonna be real tough... Well, since I am just done with my exam merely four days ago, I seriously do think that I deserve a break. At least two weeks break, maybe?

Tried to access to some bloggers' posts and I was impressed by the travelling, food, books' blogs etc. they frequently updated but looking at my own blog... Well, "what a shame" is the only words I can utter... People are living their life to the blast and have their feet printed at every corner of the world while as me, just having an ordinary life here, working a job that no body appreciate and all my hard work are not recognised and appreciated. Just because I want to ensure the future that I hope for.

Paid a visit to my used-to-be-closed-friend's father's veterinary clinic to send my boy for skin allergy treatment. Spoken to her mom and we had a casual talk.. After understand my situation, she encouraged me to go further and get my work recognised. She gave me a very good piece of advise of what I should do next. Although I do have my commitment as well as my dream future, but why do I have to commit so much by now? Who do I committed for? Basically, nobody~ People have yet to be existed... I should be going out there to explore. The job that I am doing, won't even appreciated by anyone, even those you are sacrificing for. Yes, Auntie, although I do have my planned future that came to agreement, but, never my hard work and sacrifices are being appreciated. Thinking back, why do I have to pay so much effort to do things that people won't appreciate and why not I go out and take a risk to contribute to the field I am in? Why do I underestimate myself? There is nothing fair and square. I should be selfish a bit to think for myself. That is my future, very own future that no one will basically care for. The future that will be appreciated. The future that I live with my pride and dignity at least but not the current me, living to please others and to be a abductor or thief or robber or whatsoever.

20th November 2010

2010-11-25T08:53:00.007+08:00

20th November 2010, it was the day where all my hard work for three years paid off. Recalling the three years of life where everyone was trying to survive themselves, regardless genders and religious, helping hand can be seen everywhere, anytime. I instantly felt the sourness on my nose. That day was my

Degree Convocation!!!

Around 12.30pm, my parents sent Amy (my buddy throughout my Uni life) and I to UNiSEL which was already crowded with people. Both of us then registered ourselves at the graduate counter. That was the place where all the graduates gathered before entering the hall.

Walking heavily with palpitating heart, there was nothing much appeared on my mind but not to embarrass myself in public. That was my only wish. When my name was called, I was not aware how did I head to the Pro-Chancellor, I could not remember how did I bow and I could hardly remember anything until I walked myself back to my seat. Till then, I was awaken and thank God for the smooth ceremony. Joyous smile appeared~ ^^

Exiting the hall...

Class photo...

Amy and I

The biggest joy was the photography session when everyone share my joyful moment. Again, a very big appreciation to my parents for their support, thank to all of my lecturers for the valuable knowledge given, thank you all of my classmates for being with me for the past three years, thank you Miss Amy for the moments of being together and last but never the least, my beloved Dear for his undrained support and love all the while. Thank you my dear for being there with me regardless when I was in all sorts of mood. I love you!

MY DEAR AND I

I'm back!

2010-08-31T18:20:00.004+08:00

Wow, it has been real long ever since my last post! I miss my blog really as it is my only way to express my feelings and thought when the world shuts its ears and eyes on me. Some how, the burdens and sorrows will never fail to lead me into this small yet unique chamber in order for me to vomit out my dissatisfaction.

I do not know what stimulated me in writing this post today but some how I have started it so might as well to record whatever feelings that hidden beneath me now. How am I supposed to describe my feelings today? My heart is as heavy as stones! Why?? Unsure... Most probably it is due to things happening these few days... Many things have been happening in my life and I self noticed that I am not a good person: I'm not a good Christian, I'm not a good daughter for my parents, I am not a good sister for my both brothers, I am not a good cousin, I am not a good friend, I am not a good girl friend, I am not a good lover, I am not a good whatever you can list... What made me this me? Yea, my past. I take myself as a community invaluable rubbish. Year after year, time past and yet i'm still valueless...

In a blink of eyes, I've finished with my practical in SMK Ideal Heights for almost two months. In such, it too means that I've done with everything in UNISEL. Thank's to UNISEL in giving me such an opportunity in training me as an educator. Many complains made wherever one study of course, even one is put into the world best university but one thing will never die: complaint. Of course, within the three years of study in UNISEL, I made more than 'some' complains too! But today, I think back what a friend of mine said: "UNISEL takes in all the rubbish!" I was saddened when I first heard that. Yes, UNISEL took in rubbish! I do have to agree that! BUT UNISEL made these pieces of rubbish into - NOT GOLD YET OF COURSE but something valuable and contributing! It safes those barely surviving which rejected by local universities and provide them a chance in contributing to the country. And, I am one of them! Thank's to UNISEL for unconditioned nurturing! Even though it gave me another heart attack before I graduate! But it is challenging!!!

Currently, teaching isn't obstruct me that much~ A non stop teaching made me go stronger and my experience go wider. I never regret to sacrifice my holiday in teaching. What I am sad of is I failed to provide someone special in my heart the life he wanted. Sorry for the failure in a

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

2009-11-06T18:08:00.003+08:00

Without I realising it, I am already in the 11th week of this semester which burden not only me but my group members. It comes a saying which is appearing on my mind now: Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. See, I am still surviving here with the support of people around me.

It was three weeks back, two major presentation to be presented in a day has suffocated my group so much... This week, another two burden micro teaching fell on our shoulder again. One was badly commented and in fact, never in my entire life I can predict what is in my this lecturer's head... I don't feel sad of the mark given but disappointed for whatever she has done and said. Thank's to my very cooperative group members to make me still standing strong here. On the other hand, the second micro teaching was a big success for us though we did not score full mark. However, proud to say that all our hard work paid off. Thank's to all my group members for never give up in this tough lesson plan and willing to sacrificed endless time and effort for making this success happened. Also, this presentation has given so much fun to our classmates as well. I am so touch of the cooperation along the way.

Another two more major presentation next week. Again, the spirit of "Hold-On" is still there.

Group members, let's work out together for the final two main obstacles! Cheers~

Expect the worst and hope for the best!

No Lust, No Sorrow

2009-10-19T15:04:00.003+08:00

A piece of advice is easy to utter for those who are in need but it often inapplicable for myself for the similar situation. Seeing close ones around me getting stranger from time to time but me, still standing still here not willing to move forward...

Human are often controlled by lust... The more you feel like owning one thing, the more you will being hurt. No lust, no sorrow. How long do i really need to understand this simple concept? Knowing that it is time to make a turning in life, yet still insist of remain on the same old track...

Life, can be so simple if you live with the right people and thing around you. But, when people and things turn to be otherwise, you will realise how cruel life can be. However, be contented with what you have.

Words of wisdom:
Being contented and grateful for what you have is an important aspect of positive thinking. Thinking about what you don't have will only make you worry and lead you to be more dissatisfied with life. Focus on the positive in life. When you are contented, you are also motivated to achieve your dream.

Tinnie

2009-10-17T19:15:00.009+08:00

It has been approximately 50 days since I lost my 1st pet dog - Leissie. Sadly, I'm not ready to rare a pup anymore. They sometime can be not so eye catching but when you relise that there will be no chance in meeting them again in your life, you will have no faith to adopt another one. This goes the same to me, no matter how much I want to keep a pet dig again, I just have no faith to provide them the best I can afford... It goes the same in life as well, your fortune can just slip out your finger without you realising it.

However, there is no U-turn for whatever had happened. So what can I do is to proceed my life. Instead of glancing at Leissie's pictures pasted on my door and thinking how is her new life, I have decided to get myself a new company and I have adopted Tinnie, pronounced as /ˈtaɪ.ni/, a female Sugar Glider.

She is coated with smooth dark brown fur with long stripe from her head to the end of her body. She is small in everything, her face is small, her teeth is small, her jaw is small, everything is small.

I have lots of fun spending time with her especially when I scared the most of her claws! It is hairless and when she has contact with you, the feeling is so inexpressible! I will not forget there was an four legged fury creature attached onto my face when she was flying from my relative to me! i was horrified!

This little creature too has her own temper! She will not allow anyone to disturb her when she is having her great time in her dreamland! But the most unfair thing is - SHE CAN DISTURB YOUR SLEEP WHENEVER SHE WANTS TO! Well, who says there is fair and square in life, is there?

A very new experience in adopting a Sugar Glider. Don't know what I will explore later on after getting along well with her. Just can't wait to befriend her.

PS: Sugar Gliders are nocturnal. They are active late in the evening and early in the morning. The best time of my sleeping time! And they are so timid and often crabbing when they feel threaten! Cute one!

HOPING TO SEE YOU AGAIN

2009-09-01T06:03:00.002+08:00

DOWN..
I am DOWN..
I am so DOWN..
I am so damn the down..

"What made me so down?" must be linger around your mind...
My pet dog gone missing!
Everyone in the family trying their best in finding her but we failed..
She leave us no trace to find her...
She must be angry of me bring ignorant all these wile...
I feel so bad that I was not aware when she left the house...
In fact, no one knows!
It is 6am in the morning and heavy rain pouring down outside...
Although we have been tying hard to find her,
but she just doesn't appear at all...
Where is she? Is she taken by good-hearted one and well protected under a shelter?
I seriously hope so...
It is cold outside, I can even feel the chill in my room...
My room temperature is no way near outside one...
She must be shivering with cold and thrill without us being with her..
She must be wondering why didn't we find her...
But we really run out of idea where she will be...

Leissie, please come home!
I promise you that I will not neglect you anymore.
I will walk you daily..
I will play with you often..
I will provide you happiness that you've yearn for...
I will provide you the best!

I am so clueless where will she be..
I hope she will come back to me soon..
She will, provided no one block her way!

Her birthday is coming soon...
Will I have a chance to celebrate her 5th Birthday for her?
I hope I'll be credited a chance...
I hope God don't turn HIS deaf ear and cold back to me...

HOPING TO SEE YOU AGAIN~

A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology

2009-05-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

It is one of the impressing chapter I'd read in The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. In that particular chapter, he said there is no pass or fail. What comes into consideration is our faithfulness in apologizing. If we don't mean to apology with all our heart, might as well we don't apologize~ Right? It makes the recipients feel insulting. I totally agree with his saying. Personally I have experience the halfhearted apologize which is so irritating. According to Randy, he said if we've done something wrong in dealing with someone we know, parents, siblings, relatives, friends or even our boyfriend/girfriend or even our spouse, it's as if there is an infection in the relationship. In this case, a good apology can act as antibiotic that can cure the wound, although it's not an immediate effect, at least slowly it heals. On the other hand, a bad apology is equavalet to rubbing salt in the wound, the burning sensation can cause tears! It hurts! If we have no heart to apologize to someone, it is always better to not offering antibiotic rather than scattering salt in the wound.

We are all human, we do make mistakes unconsciously. Others would not blame us for our unintentional mistakes I believe but the way we choose to apologize does make a huge difference whether in worsen somene's wound or vice versa. According to Randy, there are good apologize and bad apologize. Let's have a look with the bad ones first.

There are two classic bad apologies:
1. "I'm sorry you feel hurt by what I've done."
(This is a attempt at an emotional slave, but it's onvious you don't want to put any medicine in the woud.) It is like: Ops, I'm sorry for what I've done but I can't help it too... LOL, in this situation, silence is gold, it is better to get the mouth sealed.

2. "I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done."
(Is that giving or asking for apologize??) It is like when you caught of an affair, you tell your husband/wife: I'm sorry for betraying you but you too have to apologize as you don't satisfy my sexual urge... LOL, what the hell??

Here comes the proper apologies:
1. What I did was wrong. - At least you are finding ways to solve the problem caused.

2. I feel bad that I hurt you. - At least you feel guilty and looking for some solutions.

3. How do I make this better? - At least you try to listen to others' needs

Perhaps you might encounter some problem where people might take advantage of you when answering your question but I too believe most of them will be genuinely appreciate your effort made.

So, the next time when you apologize, think carefully are you sincerely mean that? If so, choose a better way in apologizing. Even the way in thanking others too the same consept will be applied. When you thank someone in accompanying you in doing something, are you sincerely mean that? Or it is just a way to keep your friend from accompanying you the next time? Be aware, your friends are human being, whether your gratitude or apologize sincere, he or she can make out for sure. Unless you own a dummy friend~

Treat your friend in the way that you want them to treat you. Selfish cause you no benifits.

Finally here comes the semester break again

2009-05-08T03:39:00.002+08:00

All these while I hated the semester break the most as I know I'll be abandon and neglected again. The most heart breaking part is I was always unwelcome to to a place that I thought I could find my happiness and will make me to the whole. Sometime things just go otherwise as what I've thought but sadly, I have no power in changing anything. So in this semester, I'm going to be myself. To do something that I can, perhaps finding some ways in fulfilling myself. Though this is not the things that my heart told me to do, not the things that my heart willingly to do, but what would be the better choice when someone is not into you? Right? I still have to face the remaining days ahead me. Overall, I think I am just like one of the spices in someone's life, just to be there for complement, to improve the taste of dishes.

Today is a new day to me, a day that I will be with only myself in completing every tasks in daily life~ Well, what can I do? My first day of holiday, I'm going to get my room tidied! I haven't been coming home that frequent ever since semester 5 started... What a tiring and pressure killing semester! No joke! It is not a problem that nobody is giving me comfort and secure. I'm here giving myself an opportunity in offering myself one. To make me feel confortable, I do need my racks of books to be arrange, tons of blankets, bedsheet, pillow and booster cases to be changed, get my laundry done, and of course, the sweeping and mopping! And, I'll have to finish "My Last Lecture"! It is an amazing book! I kind of like the determination of the author! Things planned can be completed within half a day... What to do for the remaining hours??

What can I do next? Sigh, I have no idea... Why? Perhaps my heart is just not into it... Am I really aim to fulfilling my life? Or I'm just finding an excuse for myself in covering my loneliness? Am I missing my days during the semester? What do I want? I am confused and again, I am lost...

2 more days to go...

2009-04-27T00:21:00.004+08:00

Burdening semester 5 is soon to be over. Now comes the most headache period that making my live fill with palpitation... First final paper is coming in two days time in which two heavy subjects fall on the same day... Psychology is definitely going to driving me insane while as Sociology is clueless to me in what to study. Well, I should say, what creature on earth will set questions on the things that never been taught? Yet, this semester, I am getting the same old lecturer where plenty of presentation throughout the semester but nothing much being stressed... Kind of headache if you get this category lecturer in your studies... Maybe, I did not pray hard enough of not getting him as my lecturer. In fact, I want to see him no more in the rest of my semester before I graduate...

Will be start updating my blog after my final exam. Hopefully there are more inspiration for me to write~ Meanwhile, I am having two major dilemma:

1. What title should I pick for my thesis?

2. Should I continue my Master Degree after this or double degree in Psychology?

I'm confuse...

2009-03-01T16:04:00.003+08:00

I hate, I hate that guy,
he used to be an irresponsible boy friend,
and currently the irresponsible husband and father!

Hardly one month ago his daughter was borne into this world
and yet what the daughter feels is merely sorrow and tears of her mother.

This is a common social issue that happen throughout the globe.
Why does all these happen?? I keep wondering...
No good moral value been inculcated? Not religious enough?? Or...
Why is the commitment seems to be not valuable at all?
Why is one relationship can be so fragile?
Why one can changed so easily and being so irresponsible?
I am looking for the answer...

I blame but who to blame? Who am I to blame?
Some can't even eye witness their flesh of meat come to the world
and not credited a chance to welcoming their presence,
and yet, this cold blooded one can be so irresponsible....

什么是爱？

2009-02-14T16:30:00.002+08:00

"人类很奇怪，
总要等到失去后才发现他的可贵，
在失去后才设法挽回，
要珍惜却已经来不及。
那是一时冲动吗？

不管发生什么事都一定有解决的方法，
我们应该互相包容对方的缺点，
互相体谅，
互相信任，
因为你爱他。
别应一时的冲动而失去了你爱的人，
到时候会也来不及了。

叶子的离开，
是风的追求？
还是树的不挽留？
大树珍惜叶子，
也不代表叶子永远不会掉下来。

你主动爱惜一段感情，
不代表对方不会离你而去。
但是，
如果爱上了，
就不要轻易的放手。

放弃一个很爱你的人并不痛苦，
放弃一个你恨爱的人，
那才痛苦。
别等到错过后才去后悔。”

很有意思的一封信息，但是，有谁能舍得勉强一段不可能的爱情，即使他是真心的爱。一个人没能爱你就像你所要的，并不表示他不真心爱你，这是能容忍对方不完美的说法。自私的说法，为何为一个不肯在你身上花时间的人？爱与不爱，该怎么衡量，怎么判断？对于一份没有安全感与舒适感的爱情，你又会怎么做？人往往就是很矛盾，我就是其中之一。。。你呢?

What a Bad Day

2009-02-13T18:35:00.003+08:00

What a bad day... Overlooked on a presentation can eventually cause me that much... Never knew I have to go so in dept into Malaysia academic syllabus in my presentation and the best part is marks was taken into account for the presentation in which I was not aware of it... The moral of today lesson is, do not be too mark-minded. Even though a simple topic can cause you DEATH!!!!

My 2 Hours Walk in One Utama~

2008-12-18T21:42:00.006+08:00

So long never really have a clear look in One Utama Old Wing. Prompted by a sudden thought, I went there to visit my brother who currently undergoing his training in Canton-i. Christmas decorations there are not that bad. I had fun there with my W130 there! Hahaa!

Look at the stage with aglow lighting and decorations! At least I feel a little Christmas better than nothing~

What a huge Christmas tree! xoxo

Count the Candies Contest

How many candies do you think boxed up in the three huge containers displayed? 300 or more? I have been thinking can I remove the containers from the stand to get the exact amount counted accurately to win the prize? I afraid I will have my Christmas celebration in jail then! Hahaa!

I thought of counting on the candies but Ting is trying to swallow everything into her stomach! Ting, you can or not oh~~~

This Christmas tree is quite a cute one! Can see the butterfly resting peacefully on it? It is one of the decoration item and also the mask I am holding!

See the two love birds! Hiding behind of the Christmas tree~ And they kidnapped Santa Claus!! Look at the tip of the Christmas tree! Santa is in durance vile!!!

A combined two halves of love shape by this young couple! Hoping you two a everlating love~

So sweet my little brother and his beloved!

Me and my future sister-in-law in Christmas cap~ Hahaa!

Oh my, everyone! These bear bear are so tender! You will surely love it when you place your sense of touch on it!

Quarelling, Squabble, and Arguement...

2008-12-18T04:37:00.004+08:00

It is almost 5am in the morning but I am still awake.... Mouse non stop clicking and keyboard being pressed restlessly... Me, my hands and my brain too non stop functioning and make me wonder why not I feel sleepy as I was not have enough sleep for the past few days? Is this called

INSOMNIA?!!

Unintentionally, I read a quite interesting post in Snowice's blog. It is composed in English and to those who can read Chinese word, this is an advantage for you~ The post is as below:

不知你們有沒有想過，其實我們最容易跟自己吵架的人往往是自己的家人…情人…或是好朋友。原來最常跟我們有爭執的人竟然都是跟我們最親密的人，而能夠跟我們發生爭執的人也對我們有一定的了解，所以有人常說『吵架』也是一種溝通，而願意跟你吵架的人，才是真正想了解你的人。

有時候我們與人發生爭執時都會說到『算了』，或者『不說了』，這兩句話其實都是殺傷力很強的話，就代表著自己不想把自己的想法跟他說，也不想讓對方太過了解自己。

有時兩個人爭執，忽然聽到了一句話『我是為你好』；在感情的世界裡，每個人都很自私，有人常會對你說『我是為你好』，這其實是很不負責任的說法，因為我們會把自己的觀念加諸在別人身上，為他人決定一些事，但是再想想，對對方來說：難道你的方法真的可以幫到我嗎?

你為他決定了事情，但是要負責的人卻是他，這是很不公平的，不是嗎？唯有他自己才能決定什麼是對自己最好，若是錯誤的決定也才不會有埋怨，也才能對自己負責。『通常願意留下來跟你爭吵的人，才是真正愛你的人。』

有句話‘每個人天生就不一樣‘

這句話讓我領悟了很多………….

因為不一樣~自然而然每個人所看的所想的也不會相同不要怪別人不夠懂你~換個立場~

其實我們也不敢說自己有多了解他人，能從吵架中表達出自己的想法總比大家把話悶在心裡都不說出來的好，但千萬要避免在衝動時說出傷害對方的言語有些話~一旦說出口~就很難收回了~

所以要珍惜曾經跟自己吵過架的人哦~ ^^

According to her, if you are alert enough, quarrel and squabble frequently happen between us and our your loved ones regardless family, lover or good friends! Those who willing to spend time quarreling with us want to know more about us through quarreling and to make you the better one! They are those who truely care and love us. Hence, quarrel is communicative~ How far do you agree with her? To me, totally~

When comes to quarreling, the responses of 'let it be' or 'no point talking about it anymore' are quite a hurting ones. Indirectly, you are preventing others get to know you more and you are trying to hide your feelings... Of course, you are killing one's spirit by doing so especially your loved ones... And do not blame others by saying 'it is all for your own good' because it is one of the way you throw your respobnsibilities to others by saying so. Let's imagine if a girl got pregnant and she told her boyfriend about it and the boyfriend told her to have an abortion by saying 'Darling, it is for your own good"... Ugh, super irresponsible isn't it!

Everyone is special in his own way. So when comes to different stand or opinion, try to put yourself into someone else shoe. This reminds me on one saying I read in Ice's blog, there is no 100% perfect partner but two 50% people. When the first time I read this, I was thinking if you are in a relationship, how can your partner is not 100%? Well, I think it make sense after I read the post above. The incomplete partner is meant by there will no completely the same people in the world, so it will never be perfect BUT his love for you can be more than anyone else expected-THE POWER OF LOVE so called. No matter what happen, commitment, trust, tolerate, appreciation etc. are very important elements in maintain a relationship. Avoiding and giving up are never a good way~

When talking about this commitment, I remembered one saying about commitment in Cleffairy's blog which is very meaningful and full of inspiration! It says:

"there are only two options regarding commitment. You are either IN or you are OUT. There's no such thing as life-in-between~Pat Riley. "

NIKE

2008-12-17T23:07:00.011+08:00

It was beginning of August this year when I saw four drowning puppies in a flooded drain outside of my friend's house not far away from the university I am studying. Time flies so fast and within a blink of eye, this small pup has grown so much bigger~

I have been trying to come out with a post for him but I fail to do so as I wonder what to write for him... Hahahaa, my literal talent is less than 1%... LOL

Nike, a mixture of brown and white coat attracts me when I was making a decision which pup to take home~ He is adorable, maybe a little loyal (maybe he is too small to know what is loyalty...), intelligent (in hunting for food of course!), sweet (when begging for food ad to excrete... XOXO).

Ever since the first day I involve him as family member, he have been given us a lot of fun! The fun when he misses us after hours of sleep and he will non stop whining to make sure we "HI boy" to him. It is quite irritating sometime as I am sleeping very late every night and the next day morning he will be the natural alarm to wakes me up... Ugh... He will bays when he urgently need to go to his personal toilet-PAPERS... He has very good determination and he will make sure he got his way out of the room to comfort his bursting bladder! Hahaaa!

This naughty one loves food~ There was one night he opened the big container that I used to put his food and he finished up everything! What happen later was he had a huge tummy! Really big! LOL~ He is very stingy over his food! Whenever my Shih Zhu appear within his eyesight, not yet approach and no way near, he will be making the sound of snarling and roar angrily with hia bared teeth! It is quite fierce when comes to food... No joke! But now he is undergoing the phrase of changing teeth! Hahaa, so not much teeth left now but one thing bad, the growing teeth are much more BIGGER!!!! OMG~~~

He kills me the most when comes to bath... He scared of water! Extra energy consumed when I bathe him and every time I finish bathing him, I feel so exhausted like after competing in KMs of Marathon! Imagine his size getting bigger each day! OMG, I just can't figure out what's the advance machine can handle this dog easily...

There are so much to talk about him! This list yet to be completed~ As he grow, there are more and more funny and memorable story to be included!Have a look on his growing process!

"Nike"

2 months old Nike

When he accidentally injured himself

3 months old Nike in my bookshelf

See how tiny his teeth is!

This is the latest him!

He is big, not yet huge~

NIKE~

Another 7 Days and 54 Minutes to Christmas!

2008-12-17T20:25:00.019+08:00

Another 7 days to Christmas! Hurray! This day was the most meaningful day for me and I will be spending my time in church for activities, performance, and I used to have lots of fun there. Things changed 5 years back... I never been enjoying nor celebrating this day... Perhaps, this year it would be something different for me~ Who knows until it really happen? Can Santa hears my prayer? XOXO

As I walked around shopping malls, Christmas trees cab be seen easily everywhere. Every single corner are well decorated and Christmas song have been playing continuously. This is what you experience in Malaysia. This is not the grand festival that well celebrated in our country like other western country. I am not sure about you but I never been experiencing a good Christmas party like I used to see in TV show. This day apparently means a lot to them as their tradition maintain until now. Unlike our country, you can't really feel if some other big festivals are around the corner! I think it is due to the global stock crisis and everyone have to tighten their belt and not overspend on unnecessary...

I found something interesting about Christmas-The UK Christmas tradition! Are you patient enough to know more about Christmas? Here you go!

Christmas Pudding

Firstly, there is Christmas pudding, also called plum pudding although it contains no plums at all, is traditionally steamed-cooked in a cloth on "stir-up Sunday" at the beginning of advent.

The pudding is traditionally stirred from east to west in honour of the 3 wise men and each family member gives the pudding a stir and makes a secret wish.

Sometimes a clean shilling or six penny piece is stirred into the pudding bringing luck to the finder on Christmas day - as long as its not swallowed.

Mince Pies

Mince pies were originally made from mince meat and were shaped like a crib and decorated into a tiny baby Jesus. Nowadays, mince pies are similar in shape but contain a sweet fruit filling.

Christmas Dinner

The majority of families (90%) around the UK will serve up a succulent roast turkey as the centre piece of their festive meal this Christmas.

Turkey is a relative newcomer to the Yuletide table - it was a luxury right up until the 1950's when refrigerators and freezers became more widely available.

It was first brought over to the British Isles in 1526 by Yorkshirman William Strickland who acquired six birds from American Indian traders on his travels and sold them for a tuppence each in Bristol.

Prior to the turkey tradition Christmas fare included roast swan, pheasants and peacocks. A special treat was a roast boars head decorated with holly and fruit.

Christmas Cards & Stockings

The first known Christmas card was created by JC Horsley in 1843 in America but was not printed until 1946.

The concept of sending cards at Christmas only started to catch on in the 1860's.

The tradition of filling a stocking with presents was also started in America at about the same time and was first mentioned in the Oxford Dictionary in 1954.

Wassailing

Wassailing the apple tree is one of the oldest traditions at Christmas time and is still carried out in Hertfordshire and parts of the west country.

The word wassail is from the Anglo Saxon word "wes hal" meaning "good health" or "be whole".

The tradition generally takes place on the 12th night or sometimes on the 17th January, known as old twelfth night.

Farmers and their families feast on hot cakes and cider then go into the orchard where a cider soaked cake is laid in the fork of a tree and more cider is splashed on it.

A wassail bowl, often as big as a cauldron is filled with the mixture of cider, brandy, ale, spice and drunk hot. The menfolk then fire their guns into the trees and bang on pots and pans while the women and children bow their heads and sing a wassail song.

This is to ward off bad spirits from the orchard and encourage the good spirits to provide a lush crop for the following year.

The "Mari Lwyd"

Another form of wassailing was the South Wales custom of the Mari Lwyd.

It consisted of a horses skull covered with a white sheet and decorated with colourful ribbons, which was carried by a man concealed under the sheet who could operate the jaw and make it snap.

It was taken from door to door around the village with the party, normally dressed up as sergeant, Merryman, Punch and Judy, leading the Mari to the door of the house and engaging in poetic contest, often singing as many as fifteen versus before they were allowed to enter the home.

The Mari would then chase the girls of the house, snapping at them with its jaws and the party enjoyed the food and drink offered.

Culinary Christmas Traditions

Wales: Leek and onion sauce to accompany the turkey. Leeks, onion, cloves, breadcrumbs, milk, nutmeg and bay leaves blended to create a thick and creamy alternative to ordinary bread sauce.Scotland - Rich tatties and neeps - a traditional dish made with mashed potatoes, Swede, carrots, onion and butter, garnished with chives and black pepper.

Ireland: Turkey with whiskey glaze - whiskey and honey together with a splash of orange will give an impressive and great tasting twist to the traditional bird.

England: Red cabbage with apple - combining English Bramley apples, red cabbage, cinnamon and brown sugar with a splash of Port or Madeira.

Personally, i really hope I'll have a chance to experience western tradition in celebrating Christmas. I believe it is so much fun and meaningful rather than seeing the malls with lighting, decorations and songs to be consider as "Christmas celebration"... Ugh... To be honest, i too can't feel Chinese New Year when it is around the corner... Hard to believe? You will know how I feel in months time. Everything are so dead in this country... I believe everyone is undergoing the same condition where tightening their belt for maintaining better life in this economy crisis that hits everyone hard... Sad huh! I wish I could celebrate Christmas with my relative oversea next year! I am praying hard for it! What is my wishes this year? Erm... I don't have a wish list this year... I don't want to be greedy... Santa Claus won't entertain greedy child, will he? So, I minimizes my wish list and make it short and simple:

All I want for Christmas is him~

Thank you~

2008-12-15T23:56:00.006+08:00

Clock on desk non stop ticking and it remains me it is almost 2:30am and it is quite cooling after rain. My heart was terribly pain since last night and it deteriorated the whole day today. Someone called and I was relieve by letting all my pain and sorrow out after an hour chat. And I am here to thank to this particular one for offering unlimited effort to calm me down. Your care is very much appreciated.

Merci, ma cher!

When you turn your cold back to me,
I wonder if you can see my heart mourning.
When I open my eyes every morning,
Something wet my eyes before i could even prevent...

When you try to hide away things from me,
I wonder if you can see my pieces heart.
Before I could stop myself from tearing,
I am already joining the raining day...

Sitting by the window,
With Nike in my arms.
I thought I heard you wrong
when you told me you love me.

Life goes on for you every single day
without you realizing the pain in me.
Life goes on around me but no one can see
nothing is important for me anymore...

I don't want to go out,
I don't want to have fun,
I don't want to do a single thing,
I just wish my day can pass without thinking anything...

You have no idea how much I cry,
I had never let you know.
It is so hard here without our love being blessed,
but i am not allow to let it shown...

I must pretend all is fine,
Everyone think seems to be alright.
But I never let them know,
I cry for our love every night.

Not until 10 days before Christmas,
I was told my assumptions are wrong.
The relieved me is letting you know,
I had let the heavy rock out~

Pikon PC Fair @ KL Convention Centre

2008-12-14T00:29:00.004+08:00

Whoa, it is 6:30pm and it is raining terribly heavy here... Quite a good time to write a new post now! Yesterday was Saturday when my mom, Ting (my future sister-in-law) and I thought of moving our buttocks for PC fair in Kuala Lumpur Convention Center. Packed with people, we were searching for the entrance for the first hall but we unintentionally went to the last hall... There we went into the wrong entrance and anti the flow!

All these while, I have been dreaming for a camera~ A camera that can leave me memory regardless sweet or bitter~ I had a hard time in choosing one as there are so many brands and models that look really good! Many camera booths come and go without me owning any of the camera. I was so disappointed due to my philosophy of second thoughts are best but I was not aware of it is just like searching for a needle in a haystack... When I was about to give up hope in searching in such a CROWDED place, I was actually standing right in front of my forever favorite brand booth:

Sony, Like No Other!

I seriously had my hard time in choosing the desired model as it was too crowded here and I really have to try my very best to fight through the crowd! And do you know what, so many bloody footprints on my shoe!!! I thought visitors will always get there shoe print on their desired place to visit but WHY MY SHOES!!!! UGH... I had finally chosen W130 in pink! Oh, my dream has come true! I finally own a personal camera!

After Sony booth, I then continued searching for some advance items to update myself and I was stop by a salesgirl who was promoting the latest broadband that I am currently using. After listening to her, I was quite interested in trying the new broadband and I signed up for it. So, there I had my camera and a broadband. I then proceeded in searching and there was hundreds of sales person promoting all kind of broadband. Many of them approached us and try to had us a minute to talk about the benefits of their broadband service. Politely I rejected by telling them I had signed up for some other broadband but they insisted they want to tell us more about that. Fine, i listened to one of them and she asked if I am interested with it. Patiently I asked them what am I suppose to do with my broadband in hand? She remained silent and we just walk off like that. Then, one to another, tried to get our interest by telling us nonsense that the girl had told us, plus, they even said:"We are having promotion now and it is really worth signing up!" I was so pissed off and I raised my voice by asking them: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THE BROADBAND IN MY HAND? BESIDES, EVERY BOOTH IS HAVING PROMOTION! Can't they understand my language by I am not interested with their product and even the promotion offered? OMG! I went nut... What's wrong with people nowadays??

I was amazed with some of the products there. It was so advance! Or maybe I am too outdated... I would like to own them one by one~ Hahaa!

Undergrads lack general knowledge

2008-12-12T15:46:00.005+08:00

DEWAN RAKYAT: Undergrads lack general knowledge, says MP
By : V. Vasudevan, Eileen Ng, Irdiani Mohd Salleh and Seth Tun Ismail
2008/12/12

UNIVERSITY students are intellectually weak because they are lazy and not because they are spending time in politics, a backbencher said yesterday.

Datuk Tajuddin Abdul Rahman (BN-Pasir Salak) said these undergraduates only read notes provided by lecturers or those obtained at tutorials.

"They don't go to the library and pursue additional knowledge to improve their minds.

"They don't read reference books as these are in English. They said it is difficult, gives them a headache. They go for examinations equipped only with the information obtained from the lecture hall," he said during the debate on the Universities and University Colleges (Amendment) Bill 2008.

The bill seeks to give more freedom to undergraduates in the country's 18 public universities to take part in campus activities.

It also aims to streamline the administration of universities and provide better welfare benefits to staff and the undergraduates.

Tajuddin said the undergraduates should be concentrating on improving themselves to face the rat race.

Responding to the widely-held perception that university students were not doing well in their studies because of involvement in politics, he said: "I am not saying politics is not important. I am saying they should concentrate on improving their minds first.

"This country needs engineers, accountants, industrialists, entrepreneurs."

He said the country needed to move forward by becoming producers rather than becoming consumers.

Tajuddin said his observations were based on his experience interviewing undergraduates for work in his company.

"I have interviewed many of them and although they were graduates, they had little general knowledge. What little general knowledge they had was poor because they did not read enough," he said.

Ahmad Maslan (BN-Pontian) said the changes in the Universities and University Colleges Act would improve the administration of universities.

He said the government should find ways to encourage idealism among university students.

"It has to be established if student activism had brought about poor performance among them," he said.

Khairy Jamaluddin (BN-Rembau) did not think there was a correlation between academic excellence and politicking.

He felt there should not be double standards and the government should allow opposition parties to be active on campuses.

According to the revealed article from The Star, 12.12.2008, it is so sad to accept the fact that undergraduates lack general knowledge. Why is this happen?? I self doubt... but when I recall what had happen in my University, I feel that the behavior of self-centered play an important role in degrading one's mental progress. People are so selfish over their knowledge! And the feeling of winning and excel beat everything flat! No friendship concerned, no interaction, no discussion... Basically, NOTHING~ Even there is a discussion held, members will maintain the good old cliche - "SILENCE IS GOLDEN" and therefore the whole discussion is all about SILENCE! LOL!!! Yet, it is quite a surprise ones can even get their course works done by just dealing them with the most evil thing ever - MONEY! It is so true! How can a student enhance their mental progress in this way? These scenes are so much different than other foreign universities where students make their own notes, exchange notes, read on other subjects or even spend the afternoon in garden reading literature or some other reading material that are not related to their field. There are always good discussions constantly. What madw them so into gaining new knowledge? Is it because of culture matter, self interest, education system, or combination of all these?

I am an undergraduate of TESL (Teaching English as A Second Language) course. I am here not to complain but just to share what is actually happen in our tertiary education, in fact, education system. It is true that local lecturer are poor! Poor in knowledge, poor in interaction, poor in building good rapport with students, poor in almost everything... Reading through power point slides seems to be local lecturers' favorite (they must be major in this!). It is so dull and monotonous and so uninspiring! It seems like teaching is not their interest anymore but the income concerned. Why do I say so? Because no enthusiasm in in teaching can be seen clearly anymore. Isn't it a good educator should be educated, caring, dedicated...... I came across with one dull subject (when I say dull, I mean it! It is even worst that you are learning grammar!), and there is purely presentations throughout the semester for this particular subject! Yes, it is so right that students do take their own responsibility in their learning, but to the least, students should be informed what is the focus of this subject because degree in learning this course is ways different from PhD level~ The scope is terribly wide~ Isn't it students will demotivated in learning? They won't even have interest in reading notes provided! How sad it can be... As a lecturer, the most important element concerned is not about teaching, is about how much your learners learn.

It is so sorrowful of Malaysia running down education system. It was ages back when teaching is so professional where every educators deserve respect from students and parents. But sadly to say, nowadays, parents even work with their children to go against the teacher. The world has changed. Everything seems to be upside down and inner out... As we all can see there are numerous cases happened in between students and teachers in this couple of months and it sounds so ridiculous. Educators play an important role in education field. They can either kill a spirit or save a spirit. Overall, I will put the blame on our education system. Why? Because the production of educators they come out with! It is so unreliable! As a parent, how dare you aspect your kids to be educated under such circumstances?? I wonder... Educators are the main source to motivate one's interest in learning, therefore something appropriate and relevant should be teach rather than reading whatever you have in hand. Imagine if you are the learner, will you be interested in what you don't think is a need in your life?

My Sassy Girl 2008

2008-12-12T02:54:00.005+08:00

It is almost 4am in the morning and the weather is kind of COLD here due to the rainy season. It was 1:30am when I unintentionally came across with this American version of romantic movie, My Sassy Girl, in my external hard disc. I heard about this movie as someone mentioned to me couple of weeks back. He said he was caught by the title so he downloaded the movie. I did not bother much as it sounds just an ordinary movie which fail to catch my interest neither. This is quite a touching movie which tells the first and last time Charlie Bello falls in love. The female lead actress, Jordon Roark, who bump into a stranger, Charlie Bello, who saved her life in a railway when she was drunk. From their very first meeting, trouble is the name of the game in between the two young love birds and everything seems pitted against them. Without Charlie knowing, his love for her growing each day~ Things suddenly come to the end when both of them write letters confessing their love for each other. Agreeing to meet each other a year later at the same place and time, they go their separate ways.

There is a strong message behind the romantic woes when an old man explain to Jordon about the tale of destiny:

Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you LOVE~

Love is not about what what it is meant to be is meant to be... There is no couple is meant to be separated, it is all about your wish, your stand and your faith and the most wonderful thing, to see how the story ends. We just can’t sit still and wait for destiny to happen, but we must build the bridges ourselves. This is quite a good movie to watch if you are in romantic storyline~

It is worth watching! I was not surprised when I found out a new folder with some movies in it. To my belief, it must be someone's attentive idea to stored them in my hard disc so whenever I feel bored, there will be a possibility to looking around for movies to fill my time. My belief might be wrong but this guy is undeniably attentive in his certain way of planning. Perhaps, I will just leave this assumption in a maze as it's used to be. All I can say is just thank you for being so thoughtful just like when the first time I meet you. Thank's.

THE FEELINGS OF SEPARATION

2008-12-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

It have been exactly a week since my semester break have started but there is only days after the separation with someone…

As far as I remember, I have this weird feelings towards separation since I was very small. I feel very bad when I have to separate with my loved ones especially to those I thrived a close relationship with. I remember I was just a six years old girl and my aunt (father’s sister) had taken up her driving course. Each time she left home for driving lesson, my day turned upside down. This strange feelings is in my blood. When I was younger, I even feel bad each time my father left home for work… Here come when I was nine, my aunt got married. After attended her wedding dinner, my parents used all sorts of trick to got me into the car and took me home. At that night itself, I woke up in the middle of the night to begged my aunt home! These are the feelings I can’t handle even I am now a 22 years old adult. I feel so helpless regarding on this matter…

This is the strange feelings of separation from the world… Every time I have this wired feelings, I will totally lose my strength in doing anything… Yes, EVERYTHING. I keep telling myself that I need a change and I must change, but failure seems to take over the rest! This post is going to remind me how useless I am and weeks later, I hope I will feel a little better~

♥if a gal cried for u♥

2008-11-25T13:03:00.004+08:00

Again, I have been inactive for quite some time due to heavy course works... Recently, I received a forwarded mail from a friend of mine~ It might not be new to you but when the moment i read it through, teas filled my eyes~ Hence, I would like to share with you this mail entitle "♥__if a gal cried for u__♥". Personally I found it quite true...

If a girl cries in front of you,
it means that she couldn't take it anymore...

If you take her hand,
she would stay with you for the rest of your life;
If you let her go,
she couldn't go back to being herself anymore...

(VERY TRUE!!!)

A girl wont cry easily,
except in front of the person who she love the most,
she becomes weak..

(VERY TRUE!!!)

A girl wont cry easily,
only when she loves you the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys,
if a girl cries because of you please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys,
if a girl cries because of you,
please don't give her up,
maybe because of your decision,
you ruin her life.

When she cry rite in front of you,

when she cry because of you,
Look into her eyes, Can u see and feel the pain and hurt she's feeling?

Think....

Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity,
in front of you, and because of you?

She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not because she want sympathy or pity,

She cry,
Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain, the hurt, and the agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside...

Guy s, Think about it...

If a girl cry her heart out to you,
And all because of you,
its time to look back on what you have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it.
Because one day....

It may be too late for regrets,

It may be too late to say "im sorry".

To my friends...

Ponder this message seriously.

Don't do this to a girl,

You may regret for the rest of your life.
Maybe in your life,
she's the only one that love YOU the most.

Tears filled my eyes when I read this. I think it is because I experienced such a situation where I cried for a guy as he told me he could not give me his 100% attention but it sound too late for me to withdraw as my love for him keep growing each day. Now I understand why there is a saying 'distance makes love grow stronger'. To those who truly love his girl friend, think twice before you hurting them because the power of killing makes the girl has no turning back for her anymore.

World of My Own~

2008-10-29T00:45:00.006+08:00

Life doesn't seem easy for me from the beginning... I knew it since I was still an embryo! LOL~ I am always the odd one. That is what I used to think of even until today... Oh my!! What's wrong with my luck?? I am fated to left behind of everyone mind... PROVOKING! I am not sure why I am born to such a cold world... Everything seems to be unfair to me... Does "FAIR" exist? Existed or still existing? What is the reason dad and mom brought me to this world without me feeling I am part of the world? I wonder am I an unwanted child?? I wish I could be aborted and have see this world... I wish I could place a period in my life without me thinking so much.

Can you imagine when I was moody and sad, everyone will just give me a sentence:
YOU ARE THINKING TOO MUCH... or DON'T THINK SO MUCH LAH...

WHAT A WORLD! Well, I better not to complain as end up all the blame will falls on me again! I am just a loser who fail to adjust to everything. Hmm, losers are meant to disappear from this globe huh! I have had enough!

Nicky Lee

ni xiao zhe shuo
ta shi peng you
dan ni yan zhong tai wen rou
wo de bu an
na me chen zhong
zhi you ni bu dong

* ta ba zhan le
ni de xin zhong
shu yu wo de jiao luo
suo yi ni shuo
wo men
bu shi ni he wo /

** shi wo xiang tai duo
ni zong zhe yang shuo
dan ni que mei you
zhen de xin teng wo
shi wo xiang tai duo
wo ye zhe yang shuo
zhe shi wei yi neng
an wei wo de li you //

Oh?
(Repeat *, **)

wo xiang wo mei you
cuo guai le shen me
sui ran ni bu shuo
dou shi cuo zai wo
tai wan wo cai dong
ai le ni tai duo

Oh?
(Repeat **)

MY LOVELY SON

2008-09-18T14:47:00.008+08:00

Left is Nike and right is Huan Huan^^

Brother always a brother!

Nike and his non-biological Daddy~

Biological mommy of the pups

I have been inactive in blogging for weeks it seems. It is because I am busy taking care of my baby! It was 2 weeks back when a dam gave birth to 5 little pups. It is a good news as she indirectly given us lots of happiness and laughter. In fact, some time we are all heart ache when we see them not well...

Those pups were very cute and adorable. They used to conquer the road by having their SLEEP middle of the road. It was so dangerous if drivers are not aware of their existence at night! So, me and my friends decided to take care of them. It is still fresh in my mind that it was a sunny day and sun shine very brightly that day, my friends and I decided to adopt those pups as they are not well taken care of. We were searching the whole housing area for them but unfortunately we found nothing... We were so disappointed thought something bad happened to them. When we were about to give up, one of my friend thought she saw a few moving "plastic bags" floating in the flooding drain... To look into it clearly, we realized that those were not plastic bag but drowning pups! They were trying to climb themselves up but fail due to the deepness of the drain...

To cut the story short, I and my dear ended adopted one of it and the other couple (housemates) taken care for the other one. They are now about 6 weeks old. Although they are stray dog, but in our eyes, they are never a stray dog and they will no more straying and wandering around to hunt for food. It is cruel for the mother as she had lost her sons, but to think positively, we are indirectly save her babies and preventing the pups from disease. We will surely bring them up healthily!

This pic taken on the 1st day when I brought him back! Isn't he look so cute and innocent?

Hehee, his non-biological mummy~

Oh my, my heart melts when I see the him sleeping so soundly~

The Vin Palace (Cheras) on Merdeka Eve

2008-08-31T07:11:00.013+08:00

Hahaa, this is the place where I went after my movie with buddies! Where is the place? Be patient~ I am going to share with you already~ Tada!!!! Whoa,

The Vin Palace in Cheras!

It was 15 minutes to 7pm by the time I reached there~ Unlike the previous visit to The Vin Palace in Kepong, this time Fatty brought another girl named, Paris, to join the wine tasting! I am glad that I am not alone or else my night there won't be as fun as last night! It is very enjoyable, delectable and palatable~

There were already quite a number of drinkers there when we stepped into the wine shop~ There were Sean, his friend, Mr. Choo (the humorous handsome guy), Desmond (the owner), Mr. Simon, his wife... (Don't know them all YET). They were all chit-chatting delightfully which made the whole wine shop sank into laughter~ I kinda like the design of the wine shop. It is slightly different from Kepong branch. It is quite lively there and I found it more comfortable and relaxing~

Desmond prepared four types of wine for us to taste and and feedback was required! How to judge among good wine? I wonder... It is actually based on how well our palate works with the pure wine I guess~ hehee^^ The complexity of the different wines differ from each other. We tried the simplest one to the most complex one~ The sipping feelings is just indescribable~You should have a try with your own palate and do allow your palate to feel something new and tell you something new~ It is not a bad experience if you have reached a certain level of alcoholic capacity~

After an hour I tried the wine, I felt like my body has been lightened by the alcohol level and I felt like I was dancing in the air with the wine bottles dancing together with me~ At that time, I dare not leave my seat as I didn't feel secure to walk around with the body in a totally unbalanced situation~ There is no big deal I guess, I just need some time to get used to it~

We then had our dinner there and I have been working hard on my food-wine pairing since the first time I went for wine tasting but I think my palate is not sensitive enough to make out any difference... That is kinda sad for me~ Or maybe the food was at the same level as the excellent wine so surely there was be nothing to blame on my palate, right? Confusing... Must be something wrong some where! When is the up coming wine dinner? I want to be the first to join and to prove to all drinkers that my sense of taste is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL~

The most unique part of this wine shop is the cellar! It is not really a wine cellar as they don't keep wine down there. To be exact, Desmond used the cellar for the wine drinkers' entertainment~ It is a well designed and decorated underground room, well furnished, full set of sound system for drinkers to take their own sweet time to melt themselves with the good wine with their desired music~ My singing is not that good so I did not really sing much.

Time flies, in a blink of eyes without realizing it, we then left the place happily. I am very contented as I not only had a chance to try some vintage wine, I too met new friend there~ I am not sure this is the kind of life that I would like to attach to but at least, I am still finding myself adaptive~ Clef, I will remember what you said, love myself a little bit more. I am still working very hard on it and haven't thought of giving up yet~

This is the ME before leaving my house on 30th August 2008 morning~

Well, I end up become like this... The half conscious but contented me after a joyful day!

One corner of the wine cellar that I like the most~ It is just too comfortable~

Paris and I are soon to be intoxicated~ Hahaa^^

Everyone in this picture look so pretty but the partially conscious me~

Glad to met this two new pretty girl there~

Mr Choo and I~ He is really a good taker and story teller~ ^^

Ai yo, when on earth this picture had been taken lah?! Wa lau, I must be completely drunk~ lol Obviously I am not drunk by posting this picture here~ He is the one who never once gave up hope in me and even be with me during my hard timeS~ YOU ARE THE BEST FATTY!

Heartwrenching "Money No Enough 2"

2008-08-31T04:17:00.011+08:00

51th Merdeka... It is meaningless to such a non-patriotic citizen like me~ It is just another holiday for me to be away from home and enjoy with my buddies~ Was thinking to have fun at Sg Wang but due to transportation problems, we decided to go for a movie, Money Not Enough 2, at Mid Valley~ I was told that it is a comedy but to me it is more tragedy~ Personally I don't find the story outline interesting but the casting made me had 2 hours of emotional roller coaster ride~ The three brothers were not my main focus during that movie but the mother~ Kudos for her great acting! There were several touching scenes with the song entitled 'Mother' in the show. It is very touching~ (When I say sad, I really meant it!)

Basically, this show is reflecting what is happening in our poor society nowadays. In that show, it showed how the mother sacrificed her everything to take care of her children when they were young and fragile. What disappointed me was the calculative behavior of the three brats in taking care of their mother who suffers from Alzheimer's disease in her advanced age... She was upset as she could not do anything for her sons when they were in their economic crisis. She asked for help from her friends but none of them were willing to help, instead they 'channelize' ? her to beg for money by saying they can't afford to give her fish but they can teach her how to fish to survive... Due to her friends' channelization, she was caught by the police and taken to the police station. I held my tears when I saw this part especially when the sons blamed her for disgracing them~

There is one more scene that I couldn't control my tears rolling in my eyes~ The three sons and daughter-in-laws were too stingy over the expenditure needed to on hire a maid to take care of the mother so they ended up deciding to take turns to look after the bed-ridden mother. Sons then made lots of complains without thinking who changed their diapers with even stinking poops in it? Only the elder brother had taken good care of the mother but the other two placed the mother at a vacant spot outside the toilet and one even placed the mother IN the toilet with food being served there~ This is just a movie but I won't be shocked if I were to hear about this in reality! That's kinda sad, huh?

My tears dropped when Ah Hui (elder son) sent his mother off to the old folks home even though the unendurable pain struck him badly when he was running away. That scene is super touching especially when the mother asked the nurse whether it is an old folks home and beseeching Ah Hui not to abandon her and she collapsed eventually... I remember that the final part that moved me to tears was the part where the mother removed her respirator when she was a little conscious after coma for days. She saw everyone were extremely worried about Ah Keong's daughter who was involve in an accident and needed O- blood for transfusion transfusion which was also needed by the mother~ Ah Keong was in a confusion on who the blood should be given to. To solve Ah Keong's life dilemma, she decided to take in her last breath and sacrifice herself again to saved her granddaughter's life~ The scene of the mother lying on the bed reminded me on my grandmother as I was there with her when she was admitted into ICU years back in exactly the same situation as how the mother is with the tears rolling down from the eyes...

Thank you Carol for choosing this movie! Sim Yin and Huey Jiun's accompaniment is very much appreciated too! I really had a good time with you girls today~ A big hug and kisses for you all!

Me and Sim Yin~

Me and Carol~

Me and Huey Jiun~

Zhong Yuan Festival

2008-08-29T15:44:00.006+08:00

Zhong Yuan Festival a.k.a Hungry Ghost Festival, Yu Lan Pen festival and Shi Hu that falls on the 15th day of the 7th lunar month. I had been asked for a ZhongYuan Festival dinner at road side not far away from my housing area yesterday with my family and my uncle's family as we owned a table there where good food had been served.

It was a little too bored for me initially as can't really involve myself in elderly conversation. Me, my brother, Kenny, and Bei Bei got mildewed there. At least we had each other to accompany there~ The dinner turned to be a bit too irritating later due to the clamorous performance of singers while we were enjoying our table delicacies. What caught my attention was the auction held! They were varieties of religious items in auction! What amazed me was the Pu-erh tea that costs RM2,800 and Five Images of Buddha that cost RM5,000! I was shoked by the offered price~ Phew...

Pu-er that can cost RM2,800~

Below is an article of ZhongYuan history taken from china.org.cn

It used to be a religious ceremony in India. The Buddhist would hold the Yu Lan Pen Festival in memory of their forefathers. The Yu Lan Pen canon was compiled to encourage the Buddhists' piety, so it went with the Chinese custom of commemorating their ancestors and became popular in many Chinese regions.

There was a popular folk tale about how the monk, Mu Nian, saved his mother from suffering. Mu Nian had great magic power. One day his mother fell into the mouth of a hungry ghost and turned into flames in endless suffering. Mu Nian had no idea to save his mother, so he asked Buddha for help. Buddha told him the Yu Lan Pen canon and asked him to save his mother on the 15th day of the 7th lunar month with the help of Yu Lan Pen.

China followed the custom since the Liang Dynasty (502-557 A.D.) and it was evolved into the present Zhongyuan Festival. In addition to the fast provided for the monks, the present festival has special sacrificial ceremonies.

When the festival sets in, a sacrificial altar and a chair is built for the Buddhist priest either at street entrances or in front of villages. In front of the chair sets the statue of the King of Hell Di Zang. Under it are plates of flour-made rice and peaches. On the sacrificial alter are three spirit tablets and three funeral banners. After noon, pigs, sheep, chicken, geese and cakes, fruits of all kinds donated by households are displayed on the altar. On every sacrifice the Buddhist priest will put a triangular paper banner of three colors with special characters. After the rite gets started in solumn music, the priest will strike the bell to call back the souls, other monks singing chimes of incantations. Then he will throw the rice and peaches into the air in all directions to distribute them to the souls.

At night, incense is burnt in front of the door of each household. The more incense, the better, for the amount of incense stands for the degree of prosperity. In some places, people flow water lanterns. Such lanterns are made by setting a lotus flower-shaped lantern on a piece of board. According to the Chinese tradition, the lanterns are used to direct the ghosts. Ghosts find their way back when the lanterns are out. On the festival, all shops are closed to leave the street to the ghosts. In the middle of each street, an altar of incense is set every 100 paces with fresh fruits and sacrifices displayed on it. Behind the altar, the monks will sing songs that only the ghosts can understand. This rite is called shi ge'r, meaning singing ghost songs.

Shangyuan Festival falls on the same day as Lantern Festival, when people hang out various beautiful lanterns to celebrate the first full moon of the Lunar Year. Zhongyuan Festival follows Shangyuan Festival. As the former is one for the ghosts, people think that they should also hang out lanterns to celebrate for the ghosts. However, there is some difference. As human beings and land belong to yang, which means positive, so ghosts and water belong to yin, which means negative. The dark and mysterious underworld usually reminds us of the gloomy sepulchral hell where the ghosts suffer. So at Shangyuan Festival, lanterns should be hung on land while those at Zhongyuan Festival should be flown on waters.

Think Positively and Everything Will be Alright~

2008-08-25T18:50:00.004+08:00

A girl was once dissatisfies of why can't she deserves weekends with her loved one? Why must she have the only tired, exhausted and stressful weekdays that burden by all of the academic stuffs to be with his dream boy? Why must she spend her weekends all alone or even some other activities excluded him? Isn't it ridiculous as she is currently in a relationship? But then, she realize that there is no fair and square existed in this world. No one assure what kind of life style a couple should attach with.

Due to time passes, she knows him better and realize that he needs family and friends. Again, she asked herself, everyone has family and friends, but why other couples manage their happy life style with their beloved well but why can't they? Perhaps, love is not the strongest element in reality~

As in Mathematics concept, the universe symbolizes the world that support all objects and creatures. Set A and set B consist of two contrastive elements as in this world for example black and white, true and false, yea and no... It is so true that there is not only black and white existed in this complicated world that full of lie, swindle, fraud and also scandal. In fact, the mixture, grey, occupied the most spaces in the universe~

Why am I bringing up the above story and concept? That is to stimulate our human thinking by not taking things negatively. Think properly, isn't it negative too part of the element in intersection? Just add a little of positive and every thing will be different. It is not as bad as what you think overall. I have been suffering from low self esteem from young and lack of confidence. This is also my self reflex and effort of pushing and remind myself on keep moving forward in life and never give up~

My Fabulous Dream Car!

2008-08-24T12:45:00.036+08:00

Hello Kitty is a cute white kitten with a red cute ribbon on her left and she loves making friends. She weighs the same as three apples, was born in suburban London on November 1, 1974, and is a very energetic little girl who likes playing in the park or in the forest. Hello Kitty also likes playing the piano and baking cakes.

Why am I bring up Hello Kitty here? Hello Kitty is one of the only characters that made an impact even in automotive industry and drive me extremely ecstatic~ Proud of Hello Kitty! Cheers! Phew, is time to be thrifty to prepare for my dream car! It is not too early to have this in mind, in fact, it is always better to take protective measures in advance. Hahaa^^ Let see every single piece of Hello Kitty car accessories that have my mouth watering three feet down the lips!

From a small piece of Hello Kitty head car key. Cute~

To a Hello Kitty grille instead of Honda

Hello Kitty car fragrance that alliterative and decorative~ Whoa!

Fabrication of lovely Hello Kitty head on exhaust pipe!!!

Cool car meter panel in Hello Kitty head~ CUTE!!!

Sun Shade to protect from sun burn!

Sweet pinky baby chair for my future baby~ Wakaka...

Nice, cute, charm, and glory kitty face~ Whoa, to make me revel in it~

Here it comes to my favorite car with fabulous design that cost the owner about $50,000~ Phew

My future dream car that will always melt my heart each time I see it and secured me every time I drive it~

Have to work harder to achieve my personal goal on buying this car~ My forever favorite~ Don't you like it? It looks really sweet, icy cool, girlish, feminine, cute... and it could really melt my heart~ Agreeable huh?!

Dream Wedding Day

2008-08-24T03:15:00.015+08:00

Insomnia again tonight... Guess what this not-knowing-what-to-do me have been thinking of? I have been thinking of this silly kind but very cute and romantic kind of wedding. Hehee^^ Come along with me, I am going to show you my dream wedding day!

A wedding day held in Hello Kitty theme of highly religious place~

With this Mitsubishi i Princess Hello Kitty edition as wedding car~
A pair of baby pick heels which is so much adorable~

A bundle of flower of hello kitty face~

Bands of commitment*

A cute and shimmering night gown of hello kitty that sparks the whole night~

And a snow-white wedding gown of Hello Kitty~

Yea, it is a very silly way of thinking but I just can't quit myself from dreaming! Isn't it cute, sweet, adorable, admirable..... This fairy tale kind of wedding can only happen in imaginary world~ Perhaps, it is time to bed now~ lol.

The Vin Palace

2008-08-24T01:31:00.006+08:00

Went for wine tasting at a wine shop today~ Quite a nice experience that I never had in my life time. Tried both white wine and red wine but to me, red wine is more preferable. Just a few wine glasses of wine is good enough to get me slightly intoxicated... You can imagine how terrible this drinker is~ Luckily did not say anything wrong that time~ That shop is full of variety kinds of wine and a very worthy place to spend your leisure time with friends~

Wine tasting is the sensory examination and evaluation of wine but when came to wine food paring, I can't even differentiate the difference! Must be something wrong with my palates! Ridiculous!

I met Jane the manager, her assistant, Sean, Sam, and a few more regular drinkers there. They are all very friendly to make me this first timer there won't feel shy or uneasy.

I left that place around 7pm plus and I do admit that I had had three hours of fun with everyone there! Before we left, Fatty bought me a bottle of New Age Rose Wine for me knowing very well that I prefer red

wine rather than white wine. Here a very big thank you to Fatty who willing to bring me there to experience such a good wine~ A very big thank you!

Hoping for the next chance to be there to mix around with the great drinkers and the exquisitely beautiful young manager! Looking forward for better time!

Why Crying Over Spilt Milk?

2008-08-23T12:25:00.004+08:00

In one hand, how many of you agree with me saying that love is not everything? On the other hand, to those who agree with me, how many of you still not giving up hope and hoping for a fairy tales-kind of relationship? Well, I know this guy who takes everything very seriously but when comes to relationship, he feels very helpless even though he loves his girl friend very much~ To guy, relationship is a must in sense of they need someone to be by their side to share their happiness, sorrow and to support them~ It seems like without a partner, they will end up being lonesome and face all things alone~ How true am I? I wonder~

I once came across with one guy who took friends very seriously. I was very curious with his answer and I asked him for clarification to clear my doubt.Without thinking any further, he told me that there is no everlasting love~ He said he realized the importance of friends ever since his first girl friend left him. He was once sacrificed everything for love, poor thing the girl friend not knowing how to appreciate... His friends were upset by being neglected but they still support him throughout the way when he was down. Therefore, he expect his new girl friend to be understanding. His girl friend was disappointed as neglected most of the time.

Years later, his girl friend left him due to unknown reason and left him in confusion. He tried his very best to detain but her decision made remain unchanged~ This guy soon realize how much his girl friend had sacrificed for him and he willing to give away all his everything to get her back. He don't realize how cruel he was when he neglected her, how she passed her time? How she bear when he went back home with tiredness that couldn't even have a simple conversation with her? Gentleman, Rome was not built in a day~

As a guy, you might take other things much more importantly than your lover but at the same time, you too neglected how sensitive a girl towards LOVE. If you think you can't afford things that comfort your lover, at least, let her go~ In reality, there are many different kind of person~ Some take family very importantly, some take friends very vitally, some will take their career very seriously much more crucial than love, but at least don't treat your loved one in that low position~ It hurts some how.

There is now a friend of mine, she also a housemate of mine at the moment, she is dealing very good in her relationship~ Her lover treated her very good although love is not that important in some exceptional situation, but he managed it very well~ Let's bless this love birds happy ever in their life~

PS: There is forever friendship but no one assure that there is forever love~ Once the love is gone, it is gone forever. Be contented with what you have as no one assure you that there is a better one ahead of you~ Be protective to your lover, as once he/she started to bleed, it is hard to heal. Even if it healed, there is also an ugly mark left forever...

What Gor Said Is So True~

2008-08-22T11:09:00.007+08:00

Gor,
Now i know why you will say there is nothing special for those special repeated date~ Just that I am the one who took it too seriously~ Gor is right, it is just numbers~ I agree with you.

Is He Really Fine? I Wonder~

2008-08-19T22:47:00.009+08:00

Don't know since when, I started to write blog and the moment i come back home from class, I will come straight to my lap top after tossing my bag on the bed. It seems to be part of my life it seems. I love writing blog and sharing feelings~ In fact, this is the only place I can tell my true feelings to the fullest~

19th August, Dear is back to BB and I am glad that he is managing himself quite well. I believe he is mature enough to take everything easily and not being emotional. Some how or other, I still can see his reddish and watery eyes sometime... I am not sure whether he is really fine deep inside his heart or not but what I can do is just to trust even though the TRUST will RUST no matter how. I clearly know that there is a irreplaceable missing puzzle in his heart. I feel so sorry about it. Hope Dear feel easy with the new world. My time with Dear is undergoing some changes and the previous us can be said no more existed. Goodbye to the past but good memories are meant to be treasured.

I think I am now too a changed person. I keep reminding myself that I really got to stand up on my own and accept the changes with open arms. There is nothing I can't overcome and I am heading to the future... Changes? Differences? What's the big deal? I have to accept my luck. This is the time that I have to re-think a little and find the best way for a better life... I got to admit it is hard. In fact, no one claims that life is easy~ It is always complicated and there are many more obstacles waiting to be overcome. All the best for myself and to those who is heading to a better life.

Another Ordinary Day of Mine

2008-08-19T12:22:00.005+08:00

Few days back, Hendry asked me how much do I understand about Christianity and The Holy Bible~ I was quite surprise when I read his message then I started to think what do I really know about it... Well, I must admit that my understanding of it is not that in depth~ He then told me the comprehension of the above elements will affect my reading on Tarot. In order to improve and enhance the ability of reading Tarot, the history of Christianity is necessary. I like Tarot but never once thought to become a psychic! I always like to refer to Tarot and Horoscope to my life especially when I am committed in live trauma. To believe it or not is personal matter but never ever criticize them. We don't need to fully believe it as there is still a LIE in believe, but believe smartly, be selective~ Hopefully I will be able to understand better Tarot after getting know a little background of Christianity and The Holy Bible! Hendry, thank's for telling me the effective way of reading Tarot~

In writing class this morning, found out lots of good writing example in book! Admire the writer's exquisite way of writing. Hoping will be able to write like them~ To start writing, we have to set in mind that: Writing is not difficult! Writing is EASY! Hope to improve myself more in writing~

After class, Praveen said there might be a trip to Genting next week!!! Yeah Yeah! Hopefully they can manage to set up a class trip there or else there will be no chance to organize a trip in such a heavy semester... I just don't want to make it next semester! TAK NAK~ Looking forward for preveen's news!

To TESL 4A's class rep, Marcus Khoo, thank you for your great effort on our class time table! Your determination on giving the class the best time table is very much appreciated! A very big hug for you!!

What a tiring day today... but still have to attend Psycholinguistic class in the evening... Hope something FUN gonna happen in class~ So that I won't die in bored... Hahaa^^ While waiting for the next class, enjoying one of the favorite instrumental song, Marriage D'Amour by my favorite French painist, Richard Clayderman~

My Day without Him~

2008-08-18T02:13:00.004+08:00

Today is 18th August 2008. My horoscope, PISCES, stated that my friends all come in different shapes, sizes, and styles and I shouldn't have treating them all the same way. It stated that it is not that I should play favorites, it's just that I need to start being more mindful of the fact that some friends require more attention from you than others. Just because friend A doesn't need to hear from you for months, doesn't mean that friend B is going to be cool with that. How am I suppose to read other people's mind since I am not the parasite in their body? It is too ambiguous... I think that's why I should improve a lot in my communication. To dig out all the parasites in them and to rule their kingdom too~ Whoa, a bit too much~

Well, he and I separated for two days already... Miss him a lot but can't do anything... Still got another at least 36 hours to see him. On one hand, really want to see him and want to know whether everything goes fine with him but on the other hand, I am very scared of seeing him... I don't know how to face him... I don't know what to say to him... What should I do? How do I start a conversation with him? I wonder... In fact, I know he is now a changed person... I never aspect him to be back the previous him and I know it is impossible to do so... Well, in my heart, he is still him no matter how. Definitely I am going to miss his smile and his terrible laugh~ Yes, he will sure laugh but it will be an incomplete laugh from an incomplete him... The him that i will be facing will no more the him that I used to know. But my dear, I will always be by your side to comfort you as long as you need me. That is what I can assure of.

Drove back to UniSel all alone by Dear's car in the drizzling morning with cold wind. Tuned alarm at 8am but ended up woke up at half an hour late... Sigh... Everything looked very dreadful throughout the journey... 10 minutes of winded road all along the way in jungle... Scary but quite a good experience though! Classes finally over! A very tiring day... When entering house, May asked me why coming back alone? Where is Yan Wai (my dear)? It reminded me on him and stroked me again... The feeling is different when Dear is not around. Everything looks upside down and inner out... Very terrible. I can't imagine my life after our graduation... It is too bitter.. Dear, it is much more bitter then the Espresso that we tried at Coffee Bean!

A USELESS ME

2008-08-17T21:10:00.002+08:00

From the past two days is the most miserably time for me ever since I started a relationship with my special one... Why do I say so? It is not because of he made me angry or disappoint me. Something totally out of expectation happened out of sudden and he just would not accept it... It stroked him down very badly and unexpectedly... 14th August 2008 was the day I firstly seen him howling and weeping in such a severe pain... What had happen? His closed aunt had gone and she will never return... It so happened on July 14 of Lunar Calender and it is a Ghost Festival for Chinese. He will never ever forget that day. He even told me a weird thought appeared on his mind that the ghost had grabbed her aunt's soul away... That kind of thinking is odd but who knows it might be true...

What upset me is not only to see him sad (now I know why he always look dull when he see me sad...sorry) and also to see him forcedly holding his tear from rolling down on his cheek... In fact, I feel very bad as I don't even know how to comfort him... Deep inside my heart i know it is a bit too much to tell him to be tough. Who can really be tough if this really happen? I wonder... Unless the person own a iron heart. When time passed and things happened, I am not sure whether I am suitable to be his girl friend or not... Maybe I am not qualified...

I don't know what should I do... I really don't know... I am very blur in my situation... What to do next when the next time I see him?.. I feel like avoiding him... I just don't know how to face him...

I know he will miss his aunt...
I know his heart is still ache...
But how to let him know the ties are not broken?
How to tell him the memories don't break?
How to tell him this is not the end?
How to tell him his aunt will look after him from up above?
How to tell him he still have each other?
How to tell him to stay strong in the God and they will be together again?
I WONDER..........

I am so sorry for his lost...
Very very sorry...

QiXi or 8th August??!!

2008-08-17T21:10:00.001+08:00

I had a movie with my loved one on 7th August 2008. That movie was Meet Dave and it happened to be a late night movie at 11:30pm. I was not the one who plan for the movie~ Hehee^^

Back to the movie, Meet Dave, I am not sure whether i am supposed to take that movie as a movie for QiXi Chinese Valentine's Day or a movie for the special day of 08082008... I wondered~ And I am still wondering... We went into the cinema on QiXi Chinese Valentine's Day but we left the cinema on 08082008.

I had been thinking about this for days but I still could not give myself a good answer. The origins of QiXi of Cowhead and Weaver Girl are so romantic, it suits me this kind of romantic person the best~ Hehee^^ But in another hand, 8th August 2008 was so special as it won't come back again if we missed it~ Aiks, kinda headache~ Hmm, should I take that movie as just another ordinary movie on just another ordinary day? But deep inside my heart, I don't want it to be just an ordinary movie... Sigh... It is not fair if I were to take that movie as a movie for the combination of that two special day right?... Oh no...

What a 自相矛盾 me~ This four little word is pronounced as 'zi4 xiang1 mao2 dun4'. Direct translation as using my own spear to strike my own shield. Hahaa^^ Am I spinning your head even faster? lol... It literally referring to a person who argues or acts in such a way that he cannot justify himself. It is really painting myself into a corner with bad arguments. Why am I so contradicting myself? What a trouble maker~

How to practice 'Don't trouble the trouble unless the trouble troubles yo'? I still don't know. Life is all about learning~ I will learn it one day! Certainly~

08th August 2008

2008-08-17T21:09:00.001+08:00

08.08.2008. Again, the repeated date has arrived after 07.07.2007. Is this day special? It depends on what kind of thinking is implanted in your mind. To me, as a Pisces, this is a very special day as it will never come back again if we miss the chance~ It is a special day with a special date with a special number and apparently it is supposed to be a great day for me... Yea, it is true that I am a Chinese, but it is not because of the number 8 that holds great meaning of 'rich and great fortune' of Chinese Feng Sui for me to set the greatness of today but this is the year that I had chosen to ease all my sorrow, leave the dark of this full-of-cheating world and make the first step to accept the new year~ I remember one of my friends, Marcus Khoo, once told me: '2008 not just an ordinary year. It is not just because of the number 8 but it too means a new start and a new beginning. At first, I was agreed with him gracefully as i started my second relationship with my loved one at 1st January 2008 itself. That is why I really take this year very importantly.

But today, it ended up to be another ordinary day for me. 888 is extremely lucky for Chinese. I too am a Chinese but why am I so over-looked? God must have lost me somewhere~ He must have deserted me and turned his cold back and deaf ear to me. Nothing is special today, nothing memorable and nothing romantic but more than a little disappointed. It is just another ordinary day after all~ This day will leave me lots of pain, regret, disappointment, repentance, lament and deplore. My day should not be that ordinary, should it? lol, maybe i was wrong and I am still wrong.

All these while, I dare not plan for anything. But this is the year that i had put so much of hope and so much of effort to overcome my so called 'negative thinking' of my life. I started to plan things for my loved one, I planned things for my family, planed things for my friends, I even did things that I never thought I could do but does all these really work? Perhaps, I myself know the answer the best? Who could know better than me? No one but ME... I remember the pain. And I will never forget~ Plans that end up bringing me tears~

Today, i am supposed to have my loved one lying next to me to welcome the new day with me. Especially at 8:08am,when i open my eyes and I could see him smiling at me with a warm kiss and morning greeting. We are supposed to go for a simple lunch (it could be a bit more than just 'simple', Hehee^^) and perhaps we could have a walk in a busy street, do some shopping or for a movie~ And of course a romantic dinner, some sort of candle light dinner. Whoa~ Does it sound really romantic? I wonder~ Hahaa, it is simple, isn't it? But if it could happen, I would have melted in such a romantic atmosphere~

But I am not the most-neglected-one. At least I had a late night movie with my loved one last night~ The movie that we watched was Meet Dave, we were deep in the laughter for one and a half hours in the cinema! Hahaa~ My second favorite comedy after White Chicks. At least he is the one I saw when i opened my eyes in the morning with a sweet smile followed by a warm kiss and a 'Good Morning, dear'~ God did not treat me that badly! Just that this greedy me have been asking for too much~ Can't help it~ After all, half of my wish came true. It is not that bad either~

何为"樂觀"?? 吾不懂。。。

The Best Way To Make It Through... Is To Listen To Your Heart.

2008-08-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

In life, we have to make decisions
that aren't easy. We're afraid that
whatever choice we make will UPSET
someone we love.

It is at these times that we need
to stop and listen to the voice
inside us. If we listen just to
the wishes of those around us and
ignore our own feelings, we will not
be TRULY HAPPY.

Listen to what you know is right
and stand by that, because
when you do, you will be happy~

Life Isn't Always Easy!!!

2008-08-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

Life can be unfair at times
When you must maintain faith
And never let go.

It is especially during the difficult times
That you must live your life
To its fullest potential.
Those are the time to Triumph
Over circumstances
With hope and courage

Life isn't always easy,
But if you keep going and persevere
To the very best of your ability,
You will gain strength to manage
The new challenges ahead.

Each Goal that you reach
Is another important step forward.

Believe that there are
Bright and wonderful days
Ahead for you and you will find

THANK YOU DAD FOR YOUR PRECIOUS NOD~

2008-08-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

26th July 2008 was not just an ordinary Saturday for me~
I went for a movie involving all my family members!
Arrange this movie was not an easy job for me...
Why do I say so?
It is because my dad will never like to get himself into a MALL!
Needless to say the CINEMA is exactly in the MALL~
LOL~
It seems like the mall is the kingdom of DEMON@@
But why take it so hard?
As 36th strategy in SunZi's Art of War says:
RUN FOR LIFE!!!!
Just run into the cinema will do right?.. lol

My dad is a kinda serious DAD with his strict and cool expression that always hanging on his face and taking everything very seriously!

But deep inside his heart, it is just another different kind of world to be explored~
He is warm, kind and caring~

I remembered how I beseeched him just for the first two-hour-movie! RED CLIFF~
It took me five days from day one I tried to drag him in for a movie until the precious nod I wanted from him~
Whoa Whoa Whoa~
That's really the longest persuasion I have ever had~
Well, you know, a King is always a King~
Will have His own DIGNITY and will never simply nod on anything~
Maybe King likes to see others persuade him~ lol
But I too want to emphasize that,
A princess too always a Princess, Hehee^^
Will never give up instead,
Will always have her own way to MELT the King's heart~
The King will later forget all His DIGNITY and His SEVERITY!
lol

Hmm, but the princess is not satisfied with the 1st movie yet and planning for the second movie with the prince~
Hehee^^
to succeed or not, we have to depend on OUR Wong family Kung Fu + a little of TACTIC~
Have to apply a bit of SunZi's 'The Beauty Trap' in it~
Hehee^^

Wendy's 1st movie with family: RED CLIFF

(If you know me quite well, you will know who is missing in this picture~)

Can you see how serious my dad is?
Hehee^^
Like me, if you know him well,
He is a nice person to get along with~

A New Start In Blogger~

2008-08-17T20:37:00.001+08:00

Hello,
Today is 17th August 2008 and
I am so fortunate to be able to join BLOGGER as a new member in the bloggers' community!
I started to write blog on 23th July 2008 in Friendster.
I used to write blog to express my inner feelings and thought.
I will transfer posts from Friendster to here before I start a post here.
Well, i think I should tell a little of myself first~
I am Wendy.
How old I am actually is not really matter. ^^

Hmm...
If you know me well,
You will know that I hardly smile~
And I'm not those kind of sunny girl,
Instead a bit dull dull and seems really 'heavy' de~
But if I really smile, that is definitely not just a smile~
but NON STOP LAUGHING~
So don't simply stimulate my laughing sensor~
Or else you will regret the moment I start laughing!
But you just can't simply run away from me!
The more you ignore me,
The more you will adore me~
What can you do??
You will end up do everything for me~
Hehee^^

I'm kinda mysterious kind of girl if you don't know me~
But if you know me well,
You will find me not as quiet as I used to shown~
Everyone sees who I appear to be,
but only a few know me well, the real me~
What i choose to show,
There's so much behind the smile~
Just that not many people really know~
If you have something to say,
Come to me and say it to my face but not my back!

Need anything else to clear your doubt?
You are welcome to my world:
to ask, to, question, to comment, to judge, to whatever you like...
But make sure you are CLEAR before you do so~
A weird personality right?
But you definitely won't be able to know me well by viewing at my page~
You need to make a move and explore~
And give me a chance to know you more!
Hehee^^
You can too add me at 'mcky1224@hotmail.com' in MSN.
All the best and have a nice day~

Regards,
Wendy^^